Hi my name is Kisha and I'm an over acheiver

I mean really, who do I exactly think I am? Trying to fit in college into an already clusterfucked schedule. I've sought balance all my life, never quite obtaining it. Something always suffers.

I already have a full life...I'm a mom, a wife....so I have house cleaning, laundry, soccer, doctor's appointments and the list goes on and on. Thank God I have a husband who completely rocks!

Then I have a full time career that is very demanding on my time.

I have to make time for charity, friends, family and myself. There simply isn't enough hours in the day. I operate on very little sleep and very little nutrition.

Why?

Because I want it all. I want the balanced life without compromising things I feel are important. I want to feel alive inside. That's why I have to stop pushing the feeling that's always been there away. I have to do what I'm meant to do. I won't accept the alternative, a mediocre life. That's not how I'm built...never was and it's time. Time to be true to who I am.

Second week and reality has set in

Math 100 will not be 'easy' like I originally thought. I need to put more effort into it than originally planned. I understand the material in class but when I get home...all alone, I have trouble to know where to start with any given problem. Lucky for me, my math teacher is willing to help me out during office hours. I would hate to have to pay for a tutor. Plus, I think getting help from the professor would increase my chances of passing cause he knows exactly what I need to know.

I absolutely hate not wearing my heels. I love my heels. I feel so dumpy with tennis shoes on. I cannot do the flip flop thing...je deteste flip flops. I always wondered while driving by the university why college students dressed so 'down'. Well, being decked out in a dress, hair, makeup and heels like I'm accustomed to makes no sense walking from class to class on campus. So I have succumbed to the college fashion. Sigh. Bad thing is, I'm rushing to get two kids to their individual places before school so I haven't even had time for hair and makeup. I need to wake up earlier. I may try going to bed earlier tonight with no sleep aids and see if that makes a difference.

Just curious, has anyone ever had a crush on a teacher or professor?

One Week Down....

...countless to go. I'm not focusing on that though. I'm focusing one day at a time, just doing the best I can do.

Before I was talking about how nice it would be to be young again with a free ride. Today, I realized how nice it is to be older and not have the hang ups that come with being younger.

I don't need to 'find' myself. Although I will never stop growing as a person, I don't feel lost. I know who I am.

I won't be going to class hungover, because I don't drink anymore. I need not worry about what club everyone is at, what did I do last night, is my reputation ruined, etc.

I won't be joining a sorority. Or any group for that matter. Matter of fact, I have no desire to make new friends. I have enough friends that I already don't have time for.

I feel quite content to be in college, attend class and learn. Total focus. I realize that this may not be normal college experience but it's mine and I'm enjoying it thus far.

English Class Dillema Solved

One solution that I hadn't thought of until 2am this morning is to switch my English class to another time. Which I did today. I will have a different teacher (although I am a little sad that I won't have the no-bullshit, blunt, bitchy teacher) and my schedule has changed. But I look at it as destiny and a positive thing. Maybe God knows better what I need than I do myself.

I emailed my new teacher to find out what I missed, expecting to meet her on Tuesday, since my classes are Tuesdays and Thursdays. She emailed me back and brought to my attention that I am expected in class today--being that it is Thursday and all.

My class starts at the same time as the funeral service for a friend's infant. I'm saddened I cannot be there for the family. I hope they know how much I love them and how much they are in my prayers.

Bike or bust

I'd like to get my hands on the dude at orientation that said you can walk from point A to point B anywhere on campus in 10 minutes. I even specifically asked, "Even if you are overweight and out of shape?" "Yes," he said.

Let me confirm to you that this is not true. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday after my math class in the Maxim Doucet Hall (for those of you familiar with ULL), I cannot make it to the C.L. Rougeau Hall for my English class in 10 minutes. Up and down three flights of stairs and walking as fast as my fat ass can go doesn't cut it. I need at least 15 minutes. I know what you're thinking...run. I'm afraid I may pass out or have heart failure due to my physical condition and smoldering heat.

My English teacher is great. She's blunt, bitchy, smart, opiniated and doesn't take any crap or excuses. Exactly how I would be as a teacher. But as a student I tried explaining my predicament, to which she responded, "Get a bike or rollerblades." Truth be told, I thought of the bike already. But the idea of getting a bike rack for my car, locking and unlocking the bike and weaving through pedestrians seems like a whole lot of trouble. Not to even mention the fact that my last bike riding attempt included my brother helping me on and holding the seat for a while AND helping me stop. Aaaannndd this was like four years ago. So I fear for the safety of myself and others around me.

Rollerblading? LOL um, no. I can get by....on a flat smooth surface. Put me on uneven sidewalks, asphalt, etc...I will have skinned knees and hands in no time.

Sooooo I will ask my Math teacher (who I think is really laid back, smart and funny) if I can leave class 5 minutes early to make it to English. If not, looks like I may be biking.

Second Day of College

I don't know if I clarified this, but I'm only in college part time, as I have a full time career. I go Monday through Friday from 8am to 9:50am.

Waking up early is no stranger to me. But WALKING is I guess. Cause by 10am,I am falling asleep at my computer. Man, wouldn't it be nice to be 18 with a full ride..when I can nap whenever I want? Just go to class, make friends, sleep and have fun.

That wasn't in the cards for me though. I'm not sad or bitter about it. My parents did the best they could and I made my decisions.

I just wonder which is the best way to go with my own kids. Of course, my husband and I are saving for 'college' for our kids. College in quotation marks because I don't believe in forcing anyone to go to college. I want my kids to know that they have the opportunity but if they decide to go to trade school or back pack through Europe or any direction they would like to go, it's okay. I'm just a little perplexed on how much support is healthy. Hypothetically speaking, let's say we have the means to pay for everything....Car, gas, living expenses, college, senior trip, etc. SHOULD we? And is there a cut off date?

First day as a First Time College Freshman

Today was my first day as a college freshman. I will be 30 years old next month. I decided to go to college because of a new program at ULL in Lafayette, LA where I currently live. Before that, there really wasn't anything I was interested in going for. I am currently a successful real estate agent, with no college education so I never had the need nor desire to attend school. BUT, as you know life throws us curveballs and when I learned of MIA, I made a split decisiion to go to college.

It's all very exciting. In retrospect, if I would have gone straight out of highschool, I probably wouldn't have done myself any good. I was a little wild back then. I definitely did the whole 'college partying' thing without actually being in college. Now I'm focused and really into my classes, learning and doing well. So I guess it worked out for the best.

This morning I popped in an old CD ('member those?). It belongs to a friend of mine who would frequently go out with me (she was actually in college at the time). So it brought me back to that time in my life. Remembering that time makes me realize how far I've come and how much I've changed.

I'm really not into all the walking I need to do from class to class in this oppressive heat but it's gotta be good for my health right? I'm pretty sure the two professors I met today are younger than me. I met up with one of my kid's babysitters even. My age doesn't bother me one bit though.

Right now, I am going to attempt to go back to the bookstore and get the books I need.